The Curses of Should and Should Nots

The "shoulds" and "should nots" have shaped our destinies whether we admit it or not. Traditions, social norms, family values, careers, status and respect, achievement and various other forms of "shoulds" have been dished out to us at every single stage of our lives. It does not take a second for a free should adolescent or an enterprising adult to dismiss these outward constraints as useless and venomous. And they probably are. But its not the content of the "should" statement that impacts our lives, its our response to them..... no wonder someone told us that our destinies are in our own hand

Some famous "Shoulds" and "Should Nots"

We should respect our elders.

The statement is not limiting or destructive in itself. its the responses that shape the future of lives living under such dictum

An adolescent would respond to the above statement with aggressive frustration. To them, respecting elders mean driving them to the church, while they could be having fun with their friends at the lakeside. This may well be the beginning of a rebellious teenage. Is it because they lacked respect for the elders? or is it that they responded to this social dictum with the fear of losing their freedom?

A hard working executive would respond to the above statement  with passive resistance. Respecting elders to him or her would mean missing important business meetings to attend a family dinner and be a victim to the grand-motherly boast. Is it the lack of respect or fear of losing control of their schedule, that triggers the cracks in the family?

What is your response to this statement? Imagine your grandmother standing in front of you, coercing you to drive her to the church 30 miles away using this social "should" weapon. What would your response be? And dont lie to yourself saying that you would drive her to the church happily